my intentional year project
I turned 45 two days ago. Sh*t's getting real.
Is it just me, or does it feel like there’s a new urgency to get to the heart of what life is all about? … and to really sink in.
It could be that I’m now smack in the middle of my forties.
Or maybe it’s the celebration of life I went to last weekend, for my friend’s dad. The tears and memories and sudden remembrance that life is fleeting.
Or perhaps it’s the all-too-brief childhood that I’m witnessing my son fly through, and the looming knowing that one day – in the not-too-distant future – I’ll look back on this time with longing.
It all feels a bit… sombre.
And.
It feels like an invitation.
To continue slowing down, absorbing all of life’s beauty, and celebrating the mess along the way.
I’ve had a pretty rocky year (…haven’t we all?)
First, my husband was away for a few months as part of a career-change, and I was solo parenting. Not a cause for complaint, but definitely a challenge of a new kind. Of many kinds, if I’m honest.
Then my work situation underwent a sudden and drastic shift, which resulted in a spiral of anxiety and depression that I haven’t experienced for years. It challenged everything in me and it felt like a kind of free fall that I could neither understand nor ground out of.
Our income and money situation has also been difficult. I know we’re not alone in this either, but it has felt more real this year than ever before. We’ve cut expenses we used to take for granted, I’ve looked for work in the corporate arena (which I’ve resisted for 10 years), and for a brief moment we considered renting out our house and living with family.
In a nutshell, I’ve been questioning everything. More than I can capture in a few lines here.
All of this to say that on the eve of my 45th birthday, laying in bed and the house quiet around me, I opened my Notes app and wrote some lines about how I want to spend the year ahead. About what’s important to me. And about how to bring some of those illusory ideas down into the practicalities of life.
For a little more context, I also just finished reading Gretchen Rubin’s The Happiness Project – a year-long project for creating more happiness in her life. I loved the energy and intention around her project and, while Gretchen’s approach feels a bit too structured for me (I need permission to fall off course, ha!), it inspired me to think about how I could undertake my own project to truly stay present in this one wild and precious life.
And I began thinking again about what’s important to me, and how to keep it at the heart of my life.
So I began dreaming up my own project. And later, as I lay in bed on the eve of my 45th birthday, my project began to take form.
My intentional year
I began with the question, What do I want to focus on this year?
My answers were guided in part by my participation in recent To Be Magnetic challenges which have brought into focus my deepest desires for my life, as well as where I’ve been blocking myself.
(Side note; if you’ve never dug into why you want the things you want – essentially, asking yourself why, until you get to the true heart of your desire – I highly recommend it. This exercise in itself has illuminated some powerful personal insights and given me freedom in ways I hadn’t expected. You may be surprised by this simple exercise).
Here’s what I wrote:
To me, this feels a wonderful heart of a beautiful, well-lived life. At least, in my current season.
It’s highly personal, but deeply aligned with what I want for my life right now.
So, what next?
How would I maintain focus on these things this year?
I began by writing a list of “Actions” that would help me bring these ideas down into everyday life.
Things like:
🐝 Do the “one day” things today.
🐝 Laugh every day. Laugh with loved ones.
🐝 Be fully present.
🐝 Recognise my boundaries. Honour them.
🐝 Invest!
🐝 Increase my monthly sustainable income.
Taking inspiration from Gretchen Rubin’s Happiness Project, I’ve decided to take my list of actions (which is longer than the above selection) and focus on one or two per month.
And that’s where Substack comes in.
For a while, I’ve been hearing the whisper to write more consistently. To get my thoughts onto this blank page. And to connect with others in a more meaningful way.
My Intentional Year feels like the perfect portal to do just that. And if others can get some inspiration from it, all the better.
And “My Intentional Year” is what I’m calling this series.
My plan is thus:
Each month, I’ll focus on one or two areas – actions, specifically – I think will help bring my life into closer alignment with my values.
My months will align with the moon, rather than the Gregorian calendar. First up is the New Moon in Leo, on July 25, when I’ll formally launch this project.
I’ll share at least one post per month, outlining my focus and how I intend to walk out the theme.
At the end of the month I’ll publish a second post, talking about how it went, what I learned, and what I’m walking away with.
I might get really wild, and publish posts throughout the month with updates, challenges and insights. But like I said, I have to give myself permission to fall off course and get messy. (Something about the fact that when I put something on my to-do list, I feel sudden resistance to it. idk)
After all, I think focusing on something for a few weeks at a time is a great way to bring it more permanently into your life.
My main aim is to finish the year more fully embodying some of these things that I want my life to focus on.
Apt, since my word for 2025 is embody.
My secondary aim is to provide perhaps a different perspective, maybe even inspiration, to readers to create their own lives with more intention. To align with their own values and what’s important to them.
After all, life is precious, and it’s passing, whether we like it or not. Why not invest our energy into creating a life that truly lights us up?
Would you like to follow my journey?
Since I intend to give details and for this series to be somewhat personal, I’m making it a paid subscription. I haven’t done this on Substack before, so it’s a little experiment for me, and I’m excited to dive into a new way of connecting with you. You can join below, if you’d like to follow along.
Whether you choose to subscribe or not, I hope this post sparked something in you that you didn’t have before you started reading.
Have a magical day x